You’ve made it. The corner office is yours, the car in the driveway is a sleek dream on wheels, and your calendar is so packed that you haven’t seen a “weekend” in years. You’ve worked hard and climbed every professional mountain, and now you’re sipping champagne at the top. But then, reality sneaks in. You have the success, but where’s the person to share it with? Someone who loves you—not the car, the fancy job title, or the extra zeros in the bank account.
It’s the age-old question: can you have it all? Do we really have to choose between love and success? Or is there a way to enjoy the fruits of your professional labour and find someone who loves you for your quirks, your morning hair, and, let’s be honest, your inability to make it through a Netflix series without falling asleep?
The Illusion of the “Either-Or” Choice
Somewhere along the line, the world convinced us that it’s a choice—either you focus on building your career and living like a rockstar, or you settle down and focus on love. It’s a false dichotomy, like saying you can have cake or ice cream but never both. (Spoiler: You can have both, and we’ll take a scoop of ice cream on the cake, please.)
So why do we buy into this idea that we have to choose? Why is it that so many successful professionals end up feeling like their personal lives got left on the back burner while their careers took off like a rocket?
Here’s the truth: love and success are not mutually exclusive. They can and should complement each other. Real success isn’t just about the accolades and the cash flow; it’s about finding fulfilment in all areas of life—yes, including love.
Love and Success: Playing by Different Rules
Here’s the kicker. You’ve aced the business world because you follow specific rules: hard work, strategy, and some elbow grease. But guess what? Love? It doesn’t play by those rules. No PowerPoint presentation will win someone’s heart (as stunning as your slides may be).
Let’s break it down:
- Control vs. Chaos: In business, you’ve got control down to a fine art. But love? Love is messy. It’s spontaneous. It’s the wild card in a game where you’re used to always having a strategy. Scary, right? But also… exciting?
- The Game Plan: You built a career on planning and executing. But with love, there’s no 5-year plan, no quarterly review. You can’t “optimise” a relationship. Instead, it’s about showing up, being present, and embracing the rollercoaster ride.
- Independence vs. Partnership: Your career may have been a solo project, but love is a team sport. You’ve got to share the highs (and, let’s be honest, the occasional lows) with someone who’s in it for the long haul, not just the glamorous Instagram moments.
Why It Feels Harder to Find Love After You’ve Succeeded
Here’s where it gets tricky: the more successful you become, the harder it is to find someone who truly “gets” you. You know, someone who isn’t just dazzled by the status but sees the natural person underneath the success.
- The Wealth Thing: Success is nice, but it can complicate things. There’s a nagging worry that people are more interested in your portfolio than in your terrible dance moves or your habit of binging true crime documentaries. How do you find someone who’s not just impressed by the glitz and glamour but values you?
- Time… What Time? Your schedule isn’t exactly conducive to spontaneous romantic getaways. When juggling board meetings, conference calls, and the occasional last-minute trip across the globe, it can feel like love is another task on a never-ending to-do list.
- Expectations, Expectations, Expectations: You’ve worked hard to achieve perfection in your professional life. So why settle for anything less in love? But here’s the thing: love isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection. And sometimes, that means being willing to trade in your pursuit of the “perfect” partner for someone honest, genuine, and right for you.
So, How Do You Find Love When You’ve Got It All?
Finding love at this stage of your life is about shifting how you approach relationships. The goal isn’t just to find someone who ticks all the boxes but to find someone who gets you—the real you, behind all the success.
Here are a few tips to help you navigate the tricky balance between love and success:
- Redefine Success: It’s time to broaden your definition of success. It’s not just about the job, the money, or the accolades. True success is also about connections with the people who matter. You’ve nailed your career goals—now it’s time to focus on success in love, too.
- Focus on Compatibility, Not Credentials: Instead of looking for someone with a resume that rivals yours, focus on emotional compatibility. Shared values, a sense of humour, and mutual respect for lives and goals are worth far more than a fancy job title.
- Embrace the Vulnerability: This one’s tricky but key. In business, vulnerability is rarely an asset. But in love? It’s everything. Letting down your guard and being honest with someone builds a genuine connection.
- Expand Your Circles: You’ve spent years networking in your industry, but love isn’t found in boardrooms. Look beyond your professional sphere and engage in activities or communities where you can meet like-minded people who share your interests and passions, not just your career path.
- Get a Little Help: When it comes to love, it’s okay to seek help. You don’t hesitate to consult an expert in your field, so why not in your personal life? A bespoke matchmaking service like Berkeley International can help you find someone who matches not just your success, but your values, passions, and personality. Plus, we know how to steer clear of the gold diggers.
Can You Really Have It All?
Let’s cut to the chase: yes, you can have it all—love and success. But it’s going to take some adjusting. Love isn’t a transaction, a project, or another milestone to tick off your list. It’s about finding someone who makes the highs even higher and the tough days a little easier. Someone who sees the real you, not just the impressive LinkedIn profile.
At Berkeley International, we specialise in helping successful individuals like you find meaningful relationships. We believe love should never be about choosing one thing over another. It’s about balance, finding that special person who will complement your life, not complicate it. Someone who’s in it for you, not the job title or the bank account balance.
So, should you really have to choose between love and success? Absolutely not. You deserve both. Because let’s face it, what’s the point of all that success if there’s no one by your side to celebrate it with?
